Healthy at Home – Feelings
Setting Boundaries – healthy emotion coaching
Healthy Selves, Community, Country, and World
Undoubtedly, we are all feeling an incredible range of emotions this year. Specifically, our emotions vary from one minute to the next. For those of us who try to keep quiet and calm in our daily lives to reduce stress, it can feel like a losing battle these days when it comes to setting boundaries.
This article will expand. There is too much to talk about, to put it all in one blog. The feelings of overwhelm, fear (many fears), powerlessness, empathy, anger, and confusion, can be converted to feelings of nurturing, hopefulness, and competence.
Understanding your feelings and setting boundaries can be very helpful for both you and in your teachings with healthy emotion coaching for your clients. The wheel that is available to you for free below was originally designed to “see” and communicate your feelings. It has six primary and secondary feelings that align with the first six. For this purpose, it can help to learn how to identify, express, generate, and even change feelings.
The idea of feeling conversion is not new and if you sit and think about it, you may remember times when you have been able to change your feelings by changing outside influences or bringing joy into your life with actions that positively impact you also known as setting boundaries.
It would be, at this point, remiss to not bring inequality, racism, and abuse of power into the conversation. Especially, due to current events and our nation’s response, this topic will be attached to the COVID19 event forever.
Like feelings, racism and abuse of power can be changed. Undeniably throughout history there have been people who worked to identify, express, and even change these things. Many of us would rather do what we do with our feelings and carry on. We have a choice. We can do nothing and let it go.
After all, racism did not pop up 2 weeks ago. We can’t fix it that fast either. It will not feel good at times, we will come up against haters and obstacles that have been in place longer than we’ve been alive. If we make it a daily action, just like any other daily action, eventually it becomes a habit. As a result, Habits create continuity of results. That is where we go from acceptance to change, setting boundaries.
Every day we have an opportunity to start fresh, take action, and build a healthier, happier and stronger self. Once we do that for ourselves, it is amazing how quickly our friends, family, and loved ones follow our example through both personal interactions and healthy emotion coaching.
There are some links at the bottom of the page for direction to help facilitate discussions on racism.
I think you’ll find them helpful.
Iowa State ran a Discussion Group on the book “How to be an Anti-Racist” The book discussion rules they put in place are good rules to follow.
They start off by talking about how we have a tendency to debate. With this topic, it’s important to understand that what seems “right” to you from your experiences, may not be right in someone else’s experience.
When having discussion about diversity and equity, it should be approached differently. As an illustration, everyone is asked to consider different perspectives, for the purpose of sensitivity, learning, and growth.
What WE Can Do To Set Boundaries:
The short list
- Learn about other cultures
- Put yourself in situations where you are the minority
- Explore your language, jokes and old sayings can cause unexpected hurt
- Talk to your children, there are lots of great online guides for parents and children (Parents Age-by-Age Guide)
- Think through what you are going to say, before you say it
- Overall, set a good example for others
- Don’t ever make assumptions about other people. You do not know what experiences shape them.
- Stereotyping is hurtful
- Hate is not a solution or a means, fill your actions with love and let that love lead the way
Healthy communities are important to our strength and immunity. In reality, racism is going to take long term commitment on the part of everyone in our civilization. To sum up, It’s worth committing yourself to daily actions.
Abuse of Power:
What keeps us from fixing things in our society we know are broken? Fear and feelings of powerlessness. Lack of Motivation?
Why hasn’t anything been done? Luckily in some communities, there have been safeguards put in place and forward movement. Consequently, other communities have real problems.
My city has a police chief who has high standards, a board over looking him, and they’re now promising a citizen board overlooking everyone.
Certainly, the feelings we have with this abuse of power are important. Like domestic violence, much of this abuse goes unreported. Who’s going to listen to the person and believe them? We all saw it. How many people has this happened to that didn’t tell anyone because they were afraid?
Obviously, the topic itself is more than a health coach can handle alone. Dealing with the feelings will help. Therefore, knowing how to turn those feelings into positive action and change helps too.
Safety is one of our top physical NEEDS.
This Week:
- Become aware of your needs and feelings both personally and in your healthy emotions coaching. Look into some of the resources and what you can do to recognize your own needs and feelings. Recognize what creates the positive feelings of joy, peace, and power. Recognize what creates the feelings of sadness, fear, and anger. A little introspection can go a long way.
- Be kind to everyone. You don’t know what they are feeling or why. Hatred stems from anger and sometimes fear. Feel the peaceful feeling of love and help each other out.
- mad
- sad
- scared
- powerful
- peaceful
- joyful
Next Week:
How to express and convert feelings.
One More Thing To Setting Boundaries:
Things to do to feel better right now:
Create routines. Daily activity, sleep, work, exercise, and fun all help to keep your life and thoughts in balance.
Health Coaches can help you with more in depth work in the areas you need help.
- Even if you don’t go any place, take a shower and maintain good hygiene
- Eat healthy, small, and at the same time every day
- Exercise daily and throughout the day
- Set times for work and keep work and family life separate
- Set times for family and close news, work, and other distractions out
- Set time to be joyful, laugh and have fun
- Sleep rituals and steady bed and wake time
- Turn off the news, don’t leave it running all day long
- Don’t use drugs or alcohol to deal with your feelings
- Get away from the television
- Social Media, limit your activity to positive interactions
- Help others, there is nothing that will make you feel better than to lift someone else up
- Ask for help
- Protect yourself physically and emotionally
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Further Reading:
Platinum Package (Includes Business Planning, Online Marketing Mastery, List Building Pkg, and business coaching)
Racial Healing Through Dialogue, WK Kellogg Foundation
Let’s Talk, A Teaching Tolerance Guide, Southern Poverty Law Center
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