Spiritual Growth – Step #1
Most of us are trying to be better people. Whether it is a conscious or subconscious choice, we can all move toward spiritual growth. Part of being truly healthy is going beyond physical well being and attending to our mind and spiritual growth.
Step 1 Ego
What is our ego?
It is our awareness of self. It is not our true self, but the image we develop of our self. It is what we think we are. We are only limited by our ego if we allow it. Our true self is our potential. We move past our ego when we start to fulfill our potential.
“The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.” ~Carl Jung
We are born without ego. Small children live wonderfully free of ego, joyfully oblivious to what others say about them or limitations that they have placed on themselves because of false beliefs.
Ego in its strongest form is narcissism. Where everything is about you. All that matters is how you look, what you feel and how everything relates to you.
So how do we get beyond ego?
My best answer – since I have a hard time setting aside my limiting beliefs – is to focus on others instead of myself. This way, I become nothing and I have the ability to reach my potential. I use my power and talents without expectation or self imposed limits because I am working toward an outcome that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what is possible for another.
What do we let go of by setting aside our awareness of self?
- resentment
- expectations
- excuses
- the need for instant gratification
- judgement
- the past
- jealousy
- disrespect
- fear
- manipulation
- isolation
- competition
- vanity
- blame
- avoidance
- victimization
By shedding our awareness of self, we open ourselves up to a unity of spirit with everyone. We see the good in others. We feel the joy of acceptance and we get a little closer to our true potential.
What do you think? How do you see this applying to your life? How close do you get to releasing your ego? What would change in your life?
Cathy,
This is SO hard to do but so vital! Thank you for sharing it. It’s a great reminder for all of us to be the best version of ourselves e can be.
This is great and quit a good lesson to focus on others instead of ourselves. I believe that is what made me more whole as I started letting go of it being all about me and learned to throw my attention on my children. This also helped me to be a good mother so its a win win. 🙂
haha…yes, the all about me…that is age 3 right?
Wonderful insight Cathy. This is something we all struggle with on a daily basis. We really do need to Get Out Of Our Way and focus on the love, and blessings we have to share with everyone. We need to re-write the script we are running in our heads and realize most of it isn’t even real.
Love it! Very helpful. This article reminds me on how to let go and grow. 🙂
This is such an important and insightful article, Cathy! I know that my perfectionistic mindset holds me back, and gets in the way of my hopes and dreams! Thank you for writing this! I needed to read this right now!!
“The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.” ~Carl Jung
I absolutely love this quote. Right now I am watching my daughter daily try to learn how to fly. (She’s 4 and she wants to be a fairy) It’s so uplifting and inspirational to watch her faith in her ability.
Yes…I would like some of those wings too!
I find my ego flares up when I am fearful about something…a symptom of ego is all of the behaviors you listed, so when I am behaving all “uppity” I have to stop and ask myself, what am I afraid of here? Once i uncover that, I can get back to my essential self.
That is a hard one Mindy. It took me 6 months to work on that. Our essential self is much prettier:) ~Cathy
I have tossed this article around a bit today, not relating, and I find when investigating Narcissism, Ego, Egotism that ego in fact does not really related to narcissism. Let me explain:
Ego= self identity, which you are correct we are not born with, but develop when interacting with people in our lives, this is where we start to form our self-esteem, so depending on input is what the “output” will be, this includes basic survival skills.
Egotism=the drive to maintain and enhance a favorable view of oneself, inflated opinions and an overwhelming sense of the centrality of “me” without concern for others.
Narcissism=generalized personality trait characterized by egotism, vanity, conceit or selfishness.
I agree with the gist of your column, I believe, however, part of a healthy ego is putting others first, but not because you are nothing and not because you are using them to discover your potential but because it is the right thing to do. We have a chance to touch people’s lives every day, but do we? Something as simple as a smile can turn the world around for a random stranger.
You have a great talent and I enjoy your columns. Thank you
You made my day when I saw this Mel. The thing is …I believe that “the right thing to do” comes to most people naturally and all the ego that gets build up over time gets in the way. Thanks for reading and thanks for the thoughtful response. ~Cathy
Very powerful post! Brings me back to University…psych 101 but now it totally resonates more. How unnecessary ego is, all of those negative pieces of our life that we can just LET GO. So much food for thought. Enjoyed this post immensely.
EGO has got to go!
AV
Anastasia…I think when I went through psych 101…I wasn’t far enough along to have developed as much ego as when I was 30-40-50. We should all be required to go through psych 101 on our 10’s! I am glad you enjoyed it! ~Cathy
I’ve been coming back to a regular meditation practice and I think all those thoughts that whirl around head when I’m supposed to be concentrating on my breath are my ego trying to get my attention. It’s definitely a practice to let those thoughts go by and refocus.
You are right…I hadn’t thought about meditation and ego. I guess I have some more work to do! ~Cathy
Older and wiser seem to apply to this here because as you age, the outer seems so less important than what’s on the inside, not only the inside of your self but of the other’s you encounter daily. That’s why spiritual teacher’s are mostly older, wiser, comes with age but hopefully the youth will get this sooner than my generation did. Always hope.
I love the advice to help others. Anytime I’m thinking about how I can help someone else I’m not thinking about me. Me, me, me!!!
Thanks Jessica…I think that is another word to attach to ego…blame. ~Cathy
That is a tweetable Renee! Imperfect action is better than no action at all!
haha, Megan…this works even better as they get older. There is so much guilt…and if you always look at it from the best choice for your children…grounding, taking time for yourself, saying no…saying yes…giving “stuff”…it is the guide that was never written for us. ~Cathy