This morning my 8 year old granddaughter, Kora came into my office and said she was ready to go for our run.  We are preparing for a 5k for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

I was pulling everything together to take off and she stood in front of me and said (out of nowhere)…“I have a beautiful back.” 

I had to giggle.

Yesterday she was looking at her babysitter’s moles and Kora said she didn’t have any.  I told her she did, pointed them out to her on her back and she wanted to know what they were called.

I said that they were beauty marks. So, instead of think of herself as having these ugly things on her back…she had a beautiful back today and was excited to show it off in her running clothes!

I listen to Anthony Robbins when I am in my car and in between appointments.  Today Wayne Dyer was being interviewed by Tony.  Tony said that he understood that he had a very difficult childhood.  Dr. Dyer said “no” he really didn’t have a difficult childhood.  His father was abusive and his childhood had everything we would associate with a difficult time…but, he didn’t know any different, so for him, it was not a difficult childhood.  He certainly did not let anything that happened in his childhood hold him back from making a contribution in the world.

The point is...”we are what we focus on”.  We could have something happen and if we are looking at it as a bad thing, that is what we will always see it as.

Say, you started a new business, it failed and you struggled and struggled trying to get back on your feet again.  You went out to find a job and you were rejected by one company after another  and you couldn’t get hired, so you kept looking.

Then you finally got hired for your dream job.  This dream job provided you with excellent benefits, great location, it used your abilities to the maximum and you absolutely loved what you did without the stress of being self employed.  You could look at all of this one of two ways.  You could always see that as the most miserable time of your life, the time you were rejected and failed and you could attach all of that to your perception and vision of your self .  You would know yourself as a big loser who just happened to wander into a good job.  The other thing you could do is see that as a series of events leading up to one spectacular event that would not have happened otherwise.  Which do you think is going to carry you forward in your life in a better way.

Kora could look at her back in disgust, embarrassment and despair (as many young women do their whole bodies)…or she could look at that beautiful back with lovely beauty marks and gracefully carry them all her life, knowing how magnificent she is.  It all comes from the same thing and nothing is any different, except for our perception and focus.

I am not saying that you always have to be optimistic, the thing is, if you focus on the good, you are always happier.

All of this doesn’t only apply to your self image, it also has tremendous effects on your interaction, perception and relationships with others.  There are people who search for the bad in other people.  It never fails…they peruse others until they find their faults, then they dwell upon them.  It is really hard to be perfect, so if anyone looks for something wrong with me…they are going to find it.  I can tell you…I also have a lot of good in me.  If you look for that you will find that too.  I would rather have you looking for my good points than searching for my flaws.  That is one of the things about gossip too…you just push the bad about others in front of other people instead of focusing on the good.  It is multiplying the focus in the wrong direction.

At the same time, I would rather see the good in others than to focus on the bad.  It makes me feel better about mankind.  I believe there is good in everyone.

“Our thoughts create our reality — where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go.” Peter McWilliams

Finally, I will end my blog…with a request that you focus on the good in people.

Especially the people who you love.

Leave behind resentments, leave behind expectations, and just look for what is good.  Then, focus on the good in a situation or event.

Then come back…and tell me what you see.

Love ~Cathy
Copyright Cathy Sykora 2012 all rights reserved